Tag I'm it!

I have been tagged yesterday, by one of my best friends in the world to me. (remember Annika I will plan something in return, be ready and be afraid, very afraid)....

The premise here is that I, being tagged it, am to post on my blogpage 10 weird/random facts/habits/goals about myself and then select 10 other friends along with the reason why I chose them. please notify me in my post when you have posted the blog, and there is NO TAG BACKS. (according to the rules)

So here we go:

1.) I am a conservitive. don't ask why you won't like my answers.
2.) I am prepared to fight in the next revolution.(yes, I am a militiaman)
3.) I am a fan of Jericho.
4.) I love Annika and would do anything for her with no expectations of any kind.
5.) I am in college to earn a degree in criminal justice.
6.) I went to school and graduated with Annika. (she is actually smarter than me by a lot, it is her intelligence that I am attracted to.)(yes, Annika, I know that nothing will ever happen between us.)
7.) I didn't know what a leopard looked like until a record cover contest for a def leppard alblum.
8.) I deliberately provoke debate in my classes. ( pissing off the liberals in my classes is truly an art form.)
9.) My goal is to become a law enforcement officer.
10.) I try to maintain a simple life in complicated times.

now to who I chose to tag:

1.) Chris Roberts- because I like to see lab rats squirm.
2.) Emily- because I can.
3.) Wicked Wabbit- because she vexes me!!!!
4.) Brandt- because I am that much of an asshole.
5.) Ron Paul- I want to know.
6.) The Jolly Rogers- because they are great.
7.) Storm- for being so kind when I stumbled into bulldogs den.
unfortunately I cannot think of anyone else.

26 April 1590

I need a Bottle of wine to sooth my head and when that bottle is empty, I am going smash it against the head of the yeoman. Does he always have to swing the yardarm when I am near it.

25 April 1590

We have re-armed the ship's magazine and the prisoners have been sent to Castille. De Etoile Filante is returning to our joint mission. We put to sea early this morning.We returned to our original course towards the Americas.

I hate boats, why couldn't the King of France in his infinite wisdom find a way to drain the ocean's water, so that I could ride my horse across.

22 April 1590

We were attacked by pirates off of the coast of Spain. The attacking ship was named The Revenge. We feigned surrender and let The Revenge pull along side, they cast their hooks and then I and my men boarded The Revenge on the attack. It is amazing when you see the look of total surprise in another mans face, especially when he finds something other than what he is looking for, like (for instance) a compaignie of really mean pissed off armed French musketeers on the hunt for pirates, the battle for The Revenge lasted for a little longer than two hours.

During the battle for The Revenge, I came face to face with the infamous Dread Pirate Roberts. He was an excellent swordsman. He was very polite as he was trying to kill me, asking me if I was using Benetti's defense, what I thought of Capo Ferro, if I studied my Agrippa something or other. Eventually he made a thrust, which I dodged and he said “ I have to switch to my right hand.” As he changed his rapier from his left hand to his right hand, I used the time to pull my pistol, cock the pistol, aim the pistol, and shoot him between his eyes. I have no time for pointless conversation in the middle of battle. And always remember this bit of information, SHOWING OFF IN A BATTLE WILL ALWAYS GET YOU KILLED. Finally the infamous Dread Pirate Roberts is now the Dead Pirate Roberts. Oddly enough he did not sound like any Englishmen I have ever heard.

We finally captured The Revenge, those that surrendered and survived were put into the ship's brig. Treasures that were plundered by The Revenge's crew were salvaged and The Revenge was scuttled set course for a Spanish port to transfer prisoners and to re-arm the ship. I will stay on board De Etoile Filante, as Spain has an unusual aroma about it...

20 April 1590

We put to sea at midnight and set course for the West towards the Americas, in hopes that we would find pirates (especially the Foggcutter) actively raiding French and Spanish merchant vessels. Morgan must be hitting all along the coasts of the Americas.

Torez seems to think that Morgan is raiding the Spanish Main, the Ship's Capitain has ordered that we will make for the South South West after we clear the French Channale(I don't actually think of it as “English”) Once the De Etoile Filante arrives at San Salvador we will re provision and patrol north north east along the coasts of the Americas.

17 April 1590

I have been to several inns in and around Calaise. At the last inn ( I think it was the Red Dovecot) was when the Provost Marshal had me arrested, supposedly upon the King's orders, who am I to refuse the King's orders. I was held until notice was given that the King had granted a new vessel for our mission to hunt, pursue, and capture the Pirate scourge.

Unfortunately, I am not in command of the ship. The new Vessel is named De Etoile Filante, she is armed with twenty gun broadsides and she is also has a Mortar to lob explosive bombs above a ship or for shore bombardment, according to the officer in charge of the mortar crew.

It seems we are to put to sea when the vessel is fully equipped and provisioned.

At the Red Dovecot Inn, I have met a man that was very capable at grappling, he had thrown me out of the Inn several times, until I was made a guest of the Provost Marshal. I am going back to the Red Dovecot Inn to invite him to join my Compaignie. If he doesn't join the Compaignie, I am going to shoot him; a man like him is just to dangerous for common folk and me...

13 April 1590

I am awaiting his majesty's response to return to my request for a ship to return to my assigned duties, until then, I am going to an inn...

12 April 1590

Morgan is a most cunning pirate, as we were making our way back to port in Calaises, Morgan was laying in wait ahead of of our ship. the Foggcutter fired her broadside into the bow keel. The compaignie and I, the capitain and the crew of the Requin, and one Spaniard swam back to port in Calaises.

After spending some time at the Inn to warm up from the mornings swim, I went to the French dispatch and sent a request to his majesty for a larger vessel to pursue the pirate ship Foggcutter.

Having sent the request, I returned to the Inn to wait for his Majesty's response to my request. The Spaniard Torez bought the crew and the compaignie a round of drinks, when in walked Leiutenant Jussac of the Cardinal Guards and three of his Cardinal Guards and Stated that "this Inn is closed By the Authority of the Cardinal."

"I think not," I said, " this Inn is still open."

Lieutenant Jussac looked at me, it ws not the first time we met, he asked, " under whose authority, Capitain Bleu?"

"The King's Authority Lieutenant Jussac" I stated.

Jussac looked at me and smiled, then said " The King of France HAS no authority!"

Being a King's man in the royal household infantry to hear such an insult directed towards the Kings honor and authority, I was not going to let that insult go unchallenged. I stood up walked to the Lieutenant of the Cardinal's Guards, pulled off my gauntlet, and promptly slapped him with it. This wasn't my first duel with Jussac and I am sure that it is not going to be my last duel with Jussac either.

Jussac, his men and I went outside. Jussac and His men drew their rapiers. I just stood and looked at them.

"Aren't you going to draw your sword, monsiuer?" Jussac Asked.

"No Why Should I, one of your men will provide me with one of thiers." I said. "If you and your men would spend more time training instead of praying , maybe the Cardinal's Guards would win more duels."

That statement of fact was more than one of the guards could stand. He attacked, I sidestepped, grabbed his arm, and slammed him into a wall. he went out like a candle in the wind. I picked up his rapier.

"See. your man was quite thoughtful and gave me his rapier." I told Jussac.

Jussac was not pleased by this situation and attacked. I defended, I let him attack for awhile until he was so upset that he lunged off balance, which I sidestepped, smiled at him, and then I punched him in the face with the hilt of the rapier. He fell to the ground like a sack of grain. I picked up his rapier and turned to face the last two guards. They looked at each other, then they looked at me, then they dropped thier rapiers, and then they ran away.

I guess the King of France has authority after all. I went back into the Inn and bought a round for the Inn.

11 April 1590

We have made temporary repairs to the main mast and are making way back to port in Calaises for repairs to the Requin Upon returning to port I am going to the Inn to get a much needed drink. And maybe get into a much needed brawl.

10 April 1590

Action at last, we met the Foggcutter again and her capitain is Jack Morgan, I knew that he was nothing more than an English troublemaker the moment he scuffed my boot in Calaises, more of reason for me to kill him. We ordered the Foggcutter to heave to and prepare to be boarded. Morgans response was to fire his broadside at the Requin and give battle. The battle raged fiercely until Morgan's last broadside volley hit our main mast and he escaped once more.

9 April 1590

I have come to a conclusion about the Capitain of the Requin, aside from the men under my command, this capitain from the admiralty is a complete ghit. How this man received a commision to serve in his majesty's navy is beyond me. He sits in his quarters all day looking at his charts and maps. He is definitely not a man of action.

The Spaniard Torez is a little tolerable, although we've only fought once before the ships Capitain stopped the fight, he keeps to himself. I would have him join the compaignie if he weren't in the service of the King of Spain and a Spaniard.

I have spent time training with my men on boarding ships, the ships Capitan said it was necessary to learn the proper techniques to swing to the other ship. how this is possible from a row boat is beyond me. I decided that it was best that I go first show my men how it would be done.I grabbed the rope that was attached to the mast that was hastily placed into the row boat and swung myself to the Requin. I never knew how solid a hull of a ship could be until I hit the Requin's hull and bounced back into the rowboat. I wonder what was so funny that caused the Requin's Crew laugh.

8 April 1590

I have found that this expedition is a co-operative effort between the French and Spanish. This bit of information has been unleashed upon me when the capitain of the Requin introduced me to the Spanish liason to me in the capitain's quarters. Gilford Rimirez Torez has been ordered to assist me and the boarding party. Now I have an enemy working with me to capture pirates, How can this get any better?

If this is his Majesty's way of punishing me, why doesn't he just throw me in the Bastille. At least I know that would be tolerable than being here.

I don't know what is more annoying, the fact that I am at sea, or that I am at sea with an intolerable ships Capitain and a insufferable Spanish lout. I wish that I could purge myself of the both of them and continue this duty of capturing pirates, especially the Foggcutter and rescueing the beautiful woman held at the mercy of the Foggcutter's pirate crew.

6 April 1590

My compaignie has arrived in Calaises early this morning. I hate Calaises, to many Englishmen for my tastes; but the woman that I have seen , she was...she had... I had to meet her. I went to her and introduced myself, she slapped me (what a woman). I followed her to the ship she was travelling on, The Foggcutter; an English Merchant vessel.

Compaignie De Bleu was assigned to the warship Requin. we set sail at 2 of the clock today. The Foggcutter also set sail at that time. We were no farther out of port, when the orders were opened, that the Pirate ship Foggcutter opened fire on our ship. I grabbed a torch from a passing gunner,touched prime on a deck gun closest to me and returned fire on the Foggcutter. I then ordered all guns to be charged. The Captain of the Requin belayed my order, the fop captain said it wasn't my place to give orders on the ship, by then the pirate ship Foggcutter had escaped.

3 April 1590

The King has finished chastising me in front of the entire court. His majesty has ordered me and my compaignie to assist the admiralty with thier duties of hunting and capturing pirates. His majesty felt it wise that I should go to sea for a while to ease his tensions. I don't see why, all I did was within my duties to maintain order in the sector of my country from the attempted disturbance caused by an English lout sea captain. I hate the sea and I hate Ships. I want a horse between my legs, the wind in my hair, a pistol in my hand, and a city burning in my wake. I am a Musketeer not a sailor, I do the King's bidding on the land not the sea; but as a Musketeer I go where the King orders me to go. I had no idea that the French Navy had so much difficulty trying to find pirates, maybe they are going to the wrong ports?

I have been sent back to Calaises with my compaignie to be assigned to a ship as boarding marines. I hope this duty does not last long. I hope there is enough room for my horse and equipment.

Capitain Cordon Bleu Service with a Snarl 

Prolouge...

1 April 1590

I am Capitain Cordon Bleu. I was born in Bearn, a city in the Gasconny Region of France. I was born to my father, who was a commander of a compaignie of musketeers for the King of France and to my mother, whom was contstantly on guard to my actions, which to this day are legendary in Bearn.

At the age of sixteen years I was sent to Paris,at my mothers request (I swear I saw that woman doing cartwheels as I was leaving) , to enter my fathers compaignie in the hopes it would temper me into a gentleman. While in Paris and in my fathers compaignie (I never saw a Man turn so grey so fast), I gained a reputation as a soldier and a duelist. At the age of twenty one years, I earned my commission as a leftentant after saving the King's life in a battle against the hugonauts. I swept him into behind me on my horse when I noticed that his musketeers were busy keeping a horde away form his Majasty, and took him to safety.

I was commissioned to the rank of Capitain and given command of my fathers compaignie after he decided to retire, something about having saw to much action from a relative nearly giving him a coronary infarction. The compaignie has fared well under my command and earned many citations for duty above and beyond the call of duty. My father returned to Bearn releived to live out his retirement with mother.

In the spring of 1587, my path came across a so called English merchant calling himself Captain Jack Morgan, who stepped on and scuffed my new boot. "Captain" Morgan insisted that it was an accident (which I didn't believe as I am an honorable man), I insisted it was the fact that he was a dirty contemptuous English swine bent upon causing disorder in the french sector of Calaises. Of course my insistence was followed with a smack of my leather gauntlet upon his face and a challenge to a duel. We met with our Seconds in a secluded spot South and East of Calaise. As he was in a rush, we decided that the duel would be with pistols. We took to the field and commenced with the duel, We both took aim at each other, and fired. Both of our Seconds fell to the ground dead from gunshot wounds. as he had to leave that very minute he offered to make amends, to which I refused.

I haven't seen Captain Morgan until the middle of 1589, we resumed our Hostilities toward each other. The second duel we had was wrestling, as we were wrestling our seconds began to wrestle each other, somehow they both died. Our third duel was a drinking contest in the midst of our duel our seconds raised thier tankards in toast with us and drank to our deaths when they tipped back thier cups and fell back into thier chairs to the ground dead.

Our last duel was an artillery duel, as we had no luck finding seconds, everyone we asked refused to be our seconds. we set our Cannons upon hill tops with a small village in the middle. we loaded our respective field pieces, I was particulary proud of the loading of my cannon. I aimed carefully at the spot he and his cannon were at on his hill. I primed my cannon. I yelled at Captain Morgans hill, " Prepare to die you English Fop!" He responded, "Eat shyke, ya' rat arsed bastard Frog (What is shyke and what does it have to do with bastard rats and frogs?). We touched flame to the primes of our cannons, let the shots fly. His cannon ball screamed into the village and hit the bell steeple and rang the bell of the church, as my cannon ball flew right into a powder magazine of the village and and exploded into a huge fireball that could be felt for miles. My ears are still ringing from that blast. He returned to his ship and I was summoned by the King of France...