Capitain Cordon Bleu

Memoirs of the Commander of Compaignie De Bleu Royale Household Infantry

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Location: Kansas City, United States

Evan Kerr

Thursday, June 23, 2005

26 April 1590

I need a Bottle of wine to sooth my head and when that bottle is empty, I am going smash it against the head of the yeoman. Does he always have to swing the yardarm when I am near it.

Monday, June 20, 2005

25 April 1590

We have re-armed the ship's magazine and the prisoners have been sent to Castille. De Etoile Filante is returning to our joint mission. We put to sea early this morning.We returned to our original course towards the Americas.

I hate boats, why couldn't the King of France in his infinite wisdom find a way to drain the ocean's water, so that I could ride my horse across.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

22 April 1590

We were attacked by pirates off of the coast of Spain. The attacking ship was named The Revenge. We feigned surrender and let The Revenge pull along side, they cast their hooks and then I and my men boarded The Revenge on the attack. It is amazing when you see the look of total surprise in another mans face, especially when he finds something other than what he is looking for, like (for instance) a compaignie of really mean pissed off armed French musketeers on the hunt for pirates, the battle for The Revenge lasted for a little longer than two hours.

During the battle for The Revenge, I came face to face with the infamous Dread Pirate Roberts. He was an excellent swordsman. He was very polite as he was trying to kill me, asking me if I was using Benetti's defense, what I thought of Capo Ferro, if I studied my Agrippa something or other. Eventually he made a thrust, which I dodged and he said “ I have to switch to my right hand.” As he changed his rapier from his left hand to his right hand, I used the time to pull my pistol, cock the pistol, aim the pistol, and shoot him between his eyes. I have no time for pointless conversation in the middle of battle. And always remember this bit of information, SHOWING OFF IN A BATTLE WILL ALWAYS GET YOU KILLED. Finally the infamous Dread Pirate Roberts is now the Dead Pirate Roberts. Oddly enough he did not sound like any Englishmen I have ever heard.

We finally captured The Revenge, those that surrendered and survived were put into the ship's brig. Treasures that were plundered by The Revenge's crew were salvaged and The Revenge was scuttled set course for a Spanish port to transfer prisoners and to re-arm the ship. I will stay on board De Etoile Filante, as Spain has an unusual aroma about it...

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

20 April 1590

We put to sea at midnight and set course for the West towards the Americas, in hopes that we would find pirates (especially the Foggcutter) actively raiding French and Spanish merchant vessels. Morgan must be hitting all along the coasts of the Americas.

Torez seems to think that Morgan is raiding the Spanish Main, the Ship's Capitain has ordered that we will make for the South South West after we clear the French Channale(I don't actually think of it as “English”) Once the De Etoile Filante arrives at San Salvador we will re provision and patrol north north east along the coasts of the Americas.

Monday, June 13, 2005

17 April 1590

I have been to several inns in and around Calaise. At the last inn ( I think it was the Red Dovecot) was when the Provost Marshal had me arrested, supposedly upon the King's orders, who am I to refuse the King's orders. I was held until notice was given that the King had granted a new vessel for our mission to hunt, pursue, and capture the Pirate scourge.

Unfortunately, I am not in command of the ship. The new Vessel is named De Etoile Filante, she is armed with twenty gun broadsides and she is also has a Mortar to lob explosive bombs above a ship or for shore bombardment, according to the officer in charge of the mortar crew.

It seems we are to put to sea when the vessel is fully equipped and provisioned.

At the Red Dovecot Inn, I have met a man that was very capable at grappling, he had thrown me out of the Inn several times, until I was made a guest of the Provost Marshal. I am going back to the Red Dovecot Inn to invite him to join my Compaignie. If he doesn't join the Compaignie, I am going to shoot him; a man like him is just to dangerous for common folk and me...